Introduction
Children with autism have difficulty with social skills. This varies from child to child; one child may have trouble understanding non-verbal cues which impacts their ability to maintain friendships. Another child may have trouble engaging in conversation that is not about their specific interests. When kids have trouble with social skills, they may feel isolated, lonely, and frustrated because they don’t have the skills they need to make and keep friends.
The Autism Research Institute found that 15.7% of children with autism were also diagnosed with depression and 39.5% had anxiety. Social skills pave the way for positive mental health. Fortunately, teaching children social skills builds wellbeing and satisfaction.
At-A-Glance / TL;DR
Children with autism learn social skills through ABA techniques like role playing, positive reinforcement, modeling, and social stories. These techniques that make social skills clear and provide lots of practice with feedback are effective in improving social skills, which can improve children’s relationships and self-esteem.
Key takeaways
- Social skills can be challenging for kids with autism.
- One major challenge for kids with autism is understanding verbal and nonverbal communication cues that come with social interaction.
- Therapists can use research-based strategies that teach social skills to children with autism.
- Five ABA strategies that teach social stories are positive reinforcement, modeling, role playing, social skills, and behavioral skills training.
Why Social Skills Are Challenging for Kids and Teens with Autism
A teen with autism practices asking questions that aren’t directly related to their area of interest. A kindergartener uses picture prompts to share with a peer. A fifth grader practices a game that helps them understand how to respond in various social situations. Many children struggle to navigate social situations, but difficulty understanding and responding to social skills is characteristic of an autism diagnosis.
Why Do Kids with Autism Struggle With Social Skills?
Children with autism may struggle with social skills because of the expressive and receptive language aspects. They may struggle with the communication skills that it takes to engage with peers. Or, they may misinterpret nonverbal and verbal communication.
Some common social skill challenges for kids with autism include:
- Language: Language is the cornerstone of social skills and children with autism often struggle with expressive and receptive language. This means they have a hard time expressing their ideas, and understanding information that others are communicating.
- Sensory stimulation: Conversation, group activities, and play can be overwhelming for children with autism because of the sheer noise or amount of information they have to take in.
- Flexibility: Social interactions also require flexibility, which can be difficult for children with autism who thrive in predictable scenarios. If a child has a preference for structure and routine, the flexibility required to engage in play may be difficult.
- Reciprocity: Children with autism may struggle to understand and share others’ emotions. They may have a hard time reading the emotions of peers, or understanding why someone feels the way they do.
- Special interests: Children with autism may have very specific interests that they want to explore, and have a hard time engaging in conversations that do not have to do with the topics they find important.
This doesn’t mean that children with autism don’t want to connect or don’t care about other people. They just struggle with how to engage in social situations without becoming overwhelmed or frustrated.
Overall, the challenges that children with autism experience when it comes to social skills include:
- Difficulty reading nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions or body language.
- Difficulty understanding nonliteral language, like sarcasm.
- Difficulty understanding that other people have different thoughts or feelings than them.
- Sensory overload in loud spaces or lots of talking when multiple conversations are happening at the same time.
- Communication differences when a child has limited speech or uses an assisted communication device.
Why Is Unstructured Social Time Harder for Kids with Autism
A child with autism is able to play a board game with a peer, but when the board game ends, the play time quickly devolves into chaos. The difference: rules and structure. Children with autism thrive on routine and predictability. When time is unstructured, it lacks the routine, rules, and structure that children with autism depend on to feel secure. Unstructured time also requires executive functioning skills to manage; for example, a child may need to decide what to do with their time, plan their time, and implement a plan, all executive functioning skills that are difficult for children with autism. When there is too much unstructured time, or frequent transitions, they may feel anxious or overwhelmed, which can result in meltdowns or sensory overload.
How Social Demands Change From Childhood to the Teen Years
As children grow, their social experiences shift from engaging in imaginative play and spending time with family, to building new relationships with peers. According to the Cleveland Clinic, during the teen years:
- Children are starting to form their own identity, separate from their parents,
- Friendships become more complex and become based on shared interests or social background. All children may see their friend groups shift and change, and this can be particularly difficult for kids with autism.
- Teens need higher levels of emotional regulation to manage increased emotion and conflict,
- Social media may become a greater factor in how teens connect with each other, and how they understand their world.
All these changes introduce new social skills and challenges for teens with autism and they may benefit from social skill instruction beyond the elementary years.
What Is The Emotional Impact of Social Difficulty
Children’s social skills directly impact their mental health. When a child struggles with social skills and has difficulty connecting with others, they can become isolated and frustrated. While a one-time social snafu is a learning experience, long-term social struggles can impact a child’s mental health, lead to depression and other health concerns.
ABA Techniques That Support Social Development
Applied Behavior Analysis is a way to explicitly teach and reinforce skills, including social skills. ABA techniques focus on increasing a child’s positive social interactions by teaching them communication skills, and reinforcing their successful social interactions.
Positive Reinforcement
What is it? Positive reinforcement is an ABA technique that focuses on increasing the incidence of a behavior by connecting it with a reward that immediately follows the action.
When to use it: Positive reinforcement is applicable to all age ranges, including adults.
Real-world example: A child has trouble sharing toys. An adult practices sharing toys with the child. Every time the child exchanges or offers a toy to share, the adult provides positive reinforcement through praise, a sticker, or by giving them a preferred toy. This reinforces the act of sharing.
Why it works: Positive reinforcement associates desired behaviors with positive experiences, which increases the likelihood that the child will use these behaviors in the future.
Modeling
What is it? Modeling is a way to teach children a specific behavior. The ABA therapist models or shows the child the technique, then the child is expected to copy the behavior.
When to use it: Modeling is appropriate for children of all ages, including adults.
Real world scenario: During an ABA therapy session, a therapist models how to greet a peer on the playground. The child and therapist practice greeting peers at various parts of an actual playground so the child sees multiple models.
Why it works: Modeling works because it shows children exactly what a behavior looks like so they can identify and copy it.
Role-Playing
What is it? Role playing is a structured teaching technique that involves practicing or pretending to do a behavior in a supported environment.
When to use it: Role playing is appropriate for children of all ages.
Real world example: Before going to a restaurant, a teen role-plays how to order from a menu, greet the server, and engage in conversation about a non-preferred topic.
Why it works: Children get to practice real-world skills in a safe environment so they can make mistakes and correct errors before they are in the actual scenario.
Social Stories
What is it? Social stories are short stories that are designed specifically for a student and social situation. They describe the situation and how to act in that scenario.
When to use it: Social stories are appropriate for children age four and up.
Real world example: An ABA therapist writes a social story to explain how to ask a community helper for help in an emergency. The therapist uses the social story with a child to explain the skill before they practice it in the therapy and real-world settings.
Why it works: Social stories make social interactions explicit and break them down into information that children can understand. They are also personalized to match the child’s needs.
Behavioral Skills Training
What is it? Behavioral Skills Training is a four-step method to teach social skills. It involves teaching, modeling, rehearsal, and feedback.
When to use it: Behavioral skills training is appropriate for school-aged children through adults.
Real-world example: Children in a social skills group receive instruction in how to ask questions to maintain a conversation. Then, they watch a model of the skill before practicing the conversation with feedback from their therapists.
Why it works: Behavioral Skills Training combines explicit instruction with modeling, role-playing, and feedback to provide children with skill building in real scenarios.
Where Students Learn Matters
Positive reinforcement, modeling, role-playing, and social stories are four key strategies that ABA therapists use to teach social skills. These techniques can be more effective when they are provided in the actual setting that children will use them. For example, Natural Environment Training teaches children skills where they will use them. So, a child may learn how to interact with peers during recess instead of in a therapy room.
How Practitioners Approach Social Skill Planning
Caregivers can think about social skills as any other skill–what is the ultimate goal? And, how do we help children get there? Use a strengths-based approach to recognize the skills that your child already has, so you can build on those to help them achieve meaningful social skill goals. And, use strategies that work for your child to teach them these new skills. If your child uses a lot of visuals to perform other tasks, incorporate visuals to teach them social skills too.
Use these strategies for social skill instruction:
- Build a relationship: What are the child’s strengths? Goals? Interests? Use the information you know about your child to create a plan that motivates them to work on social skills, which may be difficult! For example, if your child’s special interest is trains, use that to increase their motivation to interact with peers during a train-themed playdate.
- Start with structure: Use structured activities, such as board games or simple cooperative games, to build to more complex, flexible activities and interactions.
- Remove communication barriers: Children with autism may struggle to find the right word or understand all the language that’s coming at them. Use social stories and visuals to build their understanding of the skill at hand.
- Practice beforehand: Modeling and role playing are best done before the child is in the situation. Practice at home, in a safe space, before they need to demonstrate the skill in the real world.
- Focus on the most important skills: Think about the skills that will benefit your child the most. Engaging in conversation may be more important than making eye contact.
- Praise, praise, praise: Acknowledge the small successes immediately.
- Work collaboratively: When it comes to social skills, therapists, teachers, and parents can work together to create social skill groups and create meaningful scenarios for children to practice social skills in a supportive setting.
Quick Tips for Students and New Practitioners
- Define social rules explicitly with kid-friendly language. For example, “being a friend means asking about their interests.”
- Use visuals, including pictures and videos of the child performing the skills.
- Plan enough practice sessions to make sure the child is comfortable demonstrating the skill.
- Praise specific behaviors, like “I liked how you used eye contact when you talked to the grocery store clerk.”
- Break down complex skills into one-step actions before modeling or role-playing.
- Plan short playdates to ensure a positive experience.
- Use shared interests by pairing or grouping students who have similar interests.
- Peers may need social skill instruction too. If you build a social skill group, children without autism may also require social skill instruction to really engage in the group.
- Name feelings that come up during social situations. Then, you can practice how to handle each.
- Teach context clues. Children may not know how to respond when everyone but them is doing something, like standing or sitting in church.
- Be patient and consistent.
Remember, developing social skills takes time. Celebrate the small successes knowing that every small win is one step to long-term success.
Additional Resources
- ABA Teaching Strategies has examples of materials that you can use to teach social skills.
- Autism Behavior Services has free social stories.
- CASEL is a nonprofit that researches social skill instruction.
- Teach Town is a formal curriculum for kids with autism.
- Everyday Speech is another social skills curriculum.
- Changing Perspectives is a social skills curriculum.
- The Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis has the latest research on teaching social skills.
- Virginia Commonwealth University has social skills resources.
- The BACB Code of Ethics is an important resources for therapists.
- ABA Masters Programs by state
FAQs
What Are The Best ABA Strategies for Helping Kids Make Friends?
The best ABA strategies to help children make friends are role-playing and behavioral skills training. Both of these strategies provide a model of skills that children can use to make friends, and time to practice the skills with feedback so children feel successful.
How is ABA for Social Skills Different for a 5-year-old Versus a 14-year-old?
As children age, many skills they need to learn will stay consistent. They will always need to take turns and use appropriate words and voice volume. Other skills will develop as children age. For example, an older child may spend more time practicing how to ask a peer about a non-preferred topic, while a younger child will spend more time practicing play.
Can ABA Help With Things Like Conversation Skills and Group Play?
Yes. ABA therapy can help make the small skills and behaviors that go into conversations and play explicit for children and help them learn and practice those skills through modeling and role play.
How Do You Track Whether Social Skills Therapy Is Actually Working?
When you choose a skill to teach, you will create a goal for that skill and a way to measure it. Then, you can track how well the child is demonstrating that goal in therapy and in other settings. No child is perfect, and they won’t implement their social skills with 100% accuracy, but they can identify when they apply their skills and the result.
What Should I Watch Out For in a Social Skills Program?
As you are exploring resources and techniques, watch out for:
- One-size-fits-all programs. Even when implementing a curriculum, you will need to adjust the materials or delivery to meet the needs of your individual students.
- Activities that are out of context. Any social skill should be taught with real-world use in mind.
- Relevance. Any skill you teach should be important and meaningful for the child you are working with. For example, consider how valuable behaviors like making eye contact, or initiating conversation are for a student.
Conclusion
As ABA therapists, we have a positive impact on children’s lives and social skills is an area that can have a big difference in a child’s success and happiness. ABA techniques for social skills prepare children to form relationships, and manage social situations. The key techniques that are used to teach social skills are taught in ABA master’s programs and practiced during internships.
ABA interventions should be individualized and implemented by qualified professionals.